Two Long Years

It's been two years since I've added to this blog. A very long and difficult two years. So much has changed, so many tears have fallen.

Since I last blogged, I have become both a widow and a cancer survivor. I've lost 70 pounds (the widow/cancer diet). My hair is much grayer, but butt is much smaller, my will is much stronger. Survival is no longer a question; living, truly living is now the problem.

How do you go on when you loose your husband of 20 years? How do you find the strength to face the days ahead? When does the fear of returning cancer leave your thoughts? How do you help children learn to trust in life again? These are the questions that haunt my nights.

There should always be hope. Finding joy in each day is sometimes a challenge, but one that I am grateful to have. I am grateful that my body is free of cancer (almost 1 year!). I am grateful that my children are with me. I am grateful for friends that I never knew I had. I am, and always be, grateful that through all of this grief, I can still see the flowers, still enjoy the sunshine, and still see hope for a new tomorrow.