Why My Mom Drinks
(first child): Mom, don't we have a book that has all of the Egyptian gods listed?
-- yes, on the shelf with all of the other ancient history books
(second child): I thought you said we had almost all of the Dr. Seuss books. Do we have the ones under his pseudonyms too?
-- I don't think we have that one (Because a Little Bug Went Kachoo), remember to look next time we go to Half Price books, I think I saw it there last week
(third child): Why don't we have a priest?
-- dad's in charge of religious education
(second child again): Dr. Seuss coined the phrase "nerd"
(first again): Imhotep was real, I told you (making a face at third child who is still quizzing mom on why no priest ever comes to dinner like in his book)
(last child before mom goes to margaritaville): Oh no, the beetles (watching "The Mummy"), beetle time, they'll eat your brain you know
It's five o'clock somewhere!