Yesterday ds4 and I made a pilgrimage to the big W. Sometimes you just have to shed your pride and go there, ya' know? I mean, they have the cheapest light bulbs around. And we were out of light bulbs. I tried to be ecologically friendly and buy those fancy bulbs, but since almost all of our lights are on dimmer switches (this "smart" house is sure a pain), we can't use the fancy light bulbs and must buy the earth killing kind.
Anyway, we were at the big W, and decided to look through their cheapo DVD's. We found Dances With Wolves, and the homeschooling mommy in me decided that the movie would fit in nicely with our history studies, so it went in the cart. Then ds4 found SouthPark and wanted to get it for ds2. This was the root of the problem.
We went to the self check out (did I mention that ds4 was with me?) and proceeded to begin the scan. When we got to the SouthPark dvd, the screen flashed, telling us that we would need approval.
I'm not exaggerating when I say that the look on the face of the employee could have melted a weaker heart! It also took her a good three minutes to move the 15 feet from her station to the checkout scanner. When she finally got over to us, she said that ds4 was too young to purchase the dvd. I said that I was certainly over 17. She used her little card reader thing and ran it over the scanner and then asked for my birth date.
Now, this is where the lie came in. Without really thinking, I gave my correct month and day, but subtracted 10 years from my birth year. What was I thinking? It came out so naturally. She didn't blink (although I'm not entirely sure that she could have done the required math that quickly). I got away with it!
Where will the web of lies end? Next time should I try subtracting 20 years? 30 years? DH asked if I had calculated how many years to subtract and still be legal to drink. I may just have to sit down with a calculator and do the math. I've been telling the kids for years that I'm 29.
The princess used to even have a schtick - we would ask her the ages of her brothers and she would give their ages. Then we would say "How old is mommy?" and she would say "29" and the answer to "How old is daddy?" was "Older than dirt." It never failed to amuse me.
Loosing 10 years seems to make me happy for now, so I'm gonna stick with that one until I have to provide actual proof. It's not a lie if I actually believe it.